Stop worrying during Career Transition

keep-calm-and-stop-worryingHi – I am Teddy Burriss; I’m doing “Unbelievably Fantastic, Hovering Near Ecstasy and right now it’s not chemically induced.” Why do I say this? To condition the way I feel and think, even in the most trying times.
Here are my notes and the Dale Carnegie content that I read during this presentation given to the attendees of the Triad Career Network on 10/15/15
Readings from Dale Carnegie Scrapbook – by Dorothy Carnegie, Dale Carnegie’s wife.
Many of these writings came from the book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie
From the writings of Dale Carnegie:
The small boy whistles merrily and loudly when he bolster up his courage. And generally he overcomes his fear of walking past cemeteries because he has “whistled” up his courage. How many of us, when we’re feeling down in the dumps, sing to make other people happy” And in acting happy, we suddenly discover that we’re feeling happy. This same principle applies to enthusiasm. If we simulate animation and excitement for our work or the talk we are going to make,  we will usually find that we’ve “simulated” ourselves right into the middle of the kind of emotional drive we’re seeking.
From the writings of Dale Carnegie:
If you have fears, stop to realize that others have had them too. Probably a fear is haunting you at this moment: the fear of what someone is going to say about you; what your boss is going to do; what the neighbors are going to think. These all have to do with the future. You never fear the past, for you know what has happened and generally it wasn’t so bad after all. But the future! Fortunately there is a simple way of fighting fear. Analyze your fear and it will lessen. You will know the worst that can happen and will not be so terrified by it. You will say to yourself, “Why, I can stand that.”
Seneca – Our Fears are always more numerous than our dangers.
From the writings of Dale Carnegie:
Look facts in the face, bitter though they may be: make a decision, and after you have once made the decision, devote all your time to carrying it out. Don’t spend any time worrying about whether or not it is right. Make it right!
From the writings of Dale Carnegie:
Suppose we are so discouraged that we feel there is no hope of our ever being able to turn our lemons into lemonade – then here are two reasons why we ought to try, anyway – two reasons why we have everything to gain and nothing to lose.
Reason one: We may succeed.
Reason two: Even if we don’t succeed, the mere attempt to turn our minus into a plus will cause us to look forward instead of backward; it will replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts; it will release creative energy and spur us to get so busy that we won’t have either the time or inclination to mourn over what is past and forever gone.
Edgar W. Howe – Every successful man I have heard of has done the best he could with conditions as he found them, and not waited until next year for better.
From the writings of Dale Carnegie:
Is giving yourself a pep talk every day silly, superficial, childish? No. On the contrary, it is the very essence of sound psychology. “Our life is what our thoughts make it.” Those words are just as true today as they were eighteen centuries ago when Marcus Aurelius first wrote them in his book Meditations.
From the writings of Dale Carnegie:
By all means take though for the morrow, yes, careful though and planning and preparation. But, have no anxiety.
Remember – Worry Kills
Fact – Worry can you make you Physically Ill
Worry can affect your:
Dale Carnegie lost a finger as a child – he accepted it
Flemish Inscription – “It is so. It can not be otherwise.”
William James – “Be willing to have it so. Acceptance of what has happened is the fist step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.”
King George V had this inscribed on a wall in his library, “Teach me neither to cry for the moon or over spilt milk.”
German Philosopher Schopenhauer said it this way, “A good supply of resignation is of the first importance in providing for the journey of life.”
Booth Tarkington once said “I could take anything that life could force upon me, except blindness.”
When he went blind in his sixties he said, “I found that I could accept the loss of my eyesight, or all of my five senses because we live in our minds.”
During a period in the hospital Tarkington asked to be in the ward instead of a private room. He tried to cheer up the other patients and during the repeated surgeries he said, “How Wonderful! How Wonderful that science now has the skill to operate on anything so delicate as the human eye.”
John Milton discovered that “It is not miserable to be blind, it is miserable not to be able to accept blindness.
This is not to advocate giving in, rather to accept it’s the situation you are in and work to overcome that which you can overcome. Put up a good fight.
Mother Goose Rhyme
“For every ailment under the sun,
There is a remedy, or there is none.
If there be one, try to find it.
If there be none, never mind it.”
JC Penny – “I don’t worry about losing every dollar I have. I do the best I can and leave the results to the gods.”
Henry Ford – When I am up against a tough situation, if I can do anything about it, I do. If I can’t I just forget it.”
Epictetus taught in Rome nineteen centuries ago, “There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things that are beyond the power of our will.”
If you are not able to overcome worrying during career transition, I encourage you to reach out to someone and talk about it. You will be much better off.

Worry solves nothing

Worry solves nothing“Worry empties today of it’s joy.” unknown

Worry solves nothing

During any change in life, including the loss of a job, worry rears it’s ugly head and begins to chew away at your life.

It’s important to remember:

Worry solves nothing.

It steals your time, your energy, your desire, your ability to think logically and deliberately. Worry prohibits you from coming up with ideas, plans, solutions and activities that can actually solve a problem, regardless of what the problem is.

Worry solves nothing.

This quick little article is not intended to help you handle worry, but instead to get you to think about some ways you can handle worry. How can you put worry in it’s place, as far away from you as you can push it?

You can learn to handle worry, not make it go away, but handle it, by reading good books, listening to good seminars, praying, helping others, spending time with positive people and making decisions in advance, just to name a few ideas that you may be able to do.

You can learn to handle worry by focusing your energy, time, passion, thoughts, activities and words on positivity in everything you do, say, think, ponder and write.

Since worry solves nothing, I encourage you to find a way to handle worry. If you can come up with four or five deliberate and recurring methods of doing this on your own, here a few resources that I think may help:

Norman Vincent Peale – Power of Positive Thinking

Dale Carnegies book – How to deal with worry and start living

Read quotes about why worry is not good for you

Your Bible, Torah, Koran or other similar religious books

Visit good people in your Church, Synagogue, Temple, etc.

Listen to children playing on a playground, good music, a comedian, etc.

Again, I don’t want to pretend that the ideas I have for handling worry will work for you, we are all different people with different ideals, thought, resources and people in our lives.

However – I can only pray that you’ll find a way to help yourself deal with worry, because:

Worry Kills and Worry solves nothing.



Job Search Emotional Curve

Job Search is like riding a Roller coaster. The different phases of this ride are expected and can be handled if you work thru it.

Emotional Curve of Career Transition

The most important think you can do is know where you are on this ride. Being in one of the valleys of Shock, Anger or Depression is not necessarily a bad thing, if you know you are there and that you have ideas, activities and/or plans to move you back up the hill.

One way to navigate this roller coaster is to talk with others about where you are and how you feel. When you are not able to vocalize how you feel, write. Writing down you feelings, fears and what you want to do is a great stress reliever and idea machine.

What other ways have you dealt with the roller coaster ride of job search.


Dealing With Stress while Job Searching

Recently we asked a dozen or so Job Seekers to tell us what causes them stress while they are out of work and looking for a new job. It was an interesting conversation with most agreeing to many different issues causing stress. They shared issues including:

  • Lack of income
  • Depleting their savings, IRA or retirement
  • Being removed from the working folks
  • Lack of good routine
  • Uncertainty of change
  • Frustration of the process
  • No Social or professional stimulation
  • Rejection after rejection
  • Having to learn new technology
  • Dealing with building the right resume
  • Having to meet and talk with new people, especially if they are not used to doing this
  • Not getting anything worthwhile accomplished
  • Pressure from family and friends
  • People thinking they are less of a person because they are unemployed
  • Not knowing the best steps to find a new job

What adds to your stress being unemployed?

We then asked this same group for ideas toward dealing with these stresses. They said:

  • Don’t go shopping or buy items that they can do without
  • Spend time with their family
  • Prayer
  • Get involved in various support groups (see Triad Job Search Network)
  • Don’t be alone
  • Get involved in public groups
  • Meet someone new every day
  • Join a Gym or at least go for a walk every day
  • Volunteer anywhere you can
  • Stive to be positive (read good attitude books or blogs)
  • Plan to achieve your goals
  • Set Goals that can move you along on your journey of finding a job

What do you do to reduce your unemployment stress?

Someone in the conversation pointed out that letting stress get to you reduces your desire to do anything and this in turn reduces your productivity.

Another member of the discussion shared that recruiters, HR Managers, networking contacts and potent employers can see stress on you if you don’t manage it properly. Put your troubles in the trunk of the car when you go to talk with someone about that next job or opportunity.  Put on a smile and “buck up”.  Once you are done with the conversation open the trunk and get your troubles back out and handle them appropriately.

Finally, find a good book that can help you deal with the stress of being unemployed.  Dale Carnegie’s book, “How to stop worrying and start living” is a great book to read.