Dear Recruiter wanting to see my Personal Facebook Timeline

Personal Facebook Timeline

Personal Facebook ProfileMy Personal Facebook Timeline is just that – Personal

Dear Recruiters;

I respect your request to see my Personal Facebook Timeline as my personal friends do. I know you want to see my Facebook timeline so that you can get a better perspective of who I am as a person.  However, the only way I can let you see my personal Facebook timeline is after we become real friends.

Here are a few ideas you can consider if you want to become my Friend so that you can get a better perspective of who I am.

  • Join me at a restaurant and buy my dinner as we talk about all kinds of stuff beyond these interview questions.
  • Come with me as I volunteer at a community event where what we do is not about us, but the people friends volunteer to help.
  • Come to my house and help me spread mulch, plant flowers and rake leaves because these tasks are on my honey-do list and a friend would help me.
  • Meet me at Starbucks at 7am so we can talk about politics and religion, just as friends would.
  • Invite me to a football game, because friends do this.
  • Give me your cell phone number so I can text you when I have a joke for my friend.
  • Invite me to your home to meet your wife and kids, as any good friend would do.
  • Let me borrow your car and give $20 for gas, my friends would do this for me.

I offer these ideas in an honest effort to become your friend which is the only way I can allow you to have friend access to my personal Facebook Timeline.

So, at this point you have two choices:

We can go a burger and watch a game, or you can drop the request to see my Personal Facebook Timeline.

Thank you

I Demand Control of my Social Media Content

Social Media ContentI Want to Control My Social Media Content!

I hear this all the time, “I don’t want to use (pick one – Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, YouTube, etc) because I don’t want someone else to control my content.”

This is one of the biggest fears people have about using social media.  There are only three things you can do to be able to both understand how your content is used and control it yourself:

  1. Read the Privacy Statements
  2. Read the Terms of Service
  3. Manage and Adjust your settings

In order to make this easier for you, here are the Privacy Statements of Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and Google+

Here are the Terms of Service Statements for Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and Google+

In order to manage your Social Media Content on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and Google+ work, you will need to review your settings and make decisions for yourself how to adjust these settings. Here are the links to each of these social media platform settings.

Lastly – You still don’t know what to do. Check out the help sections of these social media platforms

Ok – If you want to control your Social Media Content

OK – so you want to use social media and you want to control your content. You have to read the Privacy Statement, Terms of Service, adjust your own social media settings and when needed look for help. Read thru these documents and adjust your settings in a manner that suites your needs. Everyone is different, so make setting decisions that work for you and how you use them.

Lastly – if you still need help with your Social Media Content, contact me and let’s find a way I can help you directly.

Do you have a Social Media Success Story to share?

Social Media Success Story

We are waiting to hear your Social Media Success Story

Please share your Social Media Success Story with us.

While writing the book Success Using Social Media I collected lots of good social media stories. I will continue to collect and share these stories.

And I will be forever indebted to you for Sharing your Social Media Success Story with us.

This book is all about how individuals should contribute, collaborate and connect using social media. The focus of the book is engaging to create connections that turn into relationships that are mutually beneficial. It ties into my first book, “Networking for Mutual Benefit“.

The book is a compilation of all of the material that I have been teaching at Universities, Community Colleges, businesses, non-profits and to individuals for the past 4 years.

Do you have a Social Media Success Story you would be willing to share with us?

I’d love to hear your story about a new business relationship, a new job, even a fabulous social media group you joined that positively changed your life, career, business or community.

If you have this story, please email me the story –

If you want to see the stories that I’ve already collected, view this article – Social Media Success Stories.


10 Principles of Social Media

It was a pleasure to meet everyone today (5/21/13) at the Sustainable Business Network of Winston-Salem.

I appreciate the opportunity to share my message with the group.

Here are the 10+ Principles of Social Media that I shared with the group:

1.00 – What is Social Media

Yes, we all know about Facebook, Google+, Instagram, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Tumblr, WordPress and YouTube. But this is only a fraction of the social media sites that exist as of 2013. Wikipedia lists well over 150 social media sites in the article
Social media platforms are for people to engage in social conversations
Social media refers to the means of interactions among people in which they create, share, and exchange information and ideas in virtual communities and networks – source –
Social media platforms are for people to engage in social conversations
Social media venus are for people to share and benefit from the co-creation of content and ideas
Social media sites are where people connect and build relationships
Social media sites are not places for us to sell, anything
“Social media are tools for us to talk with anyone we want, anytime we want and about anything we want.” ~ @NCWiseman
I wrote this definition a few years ago because I kept hearing business owners and executives tell me, “Social media is managed by our marketing department.” I quietly weep every time I hear this.
When I hear this statement I am obligated (by myself) to ask:
“Does marketing manage your phone system?” 
“Does marketing manage your email system?” 
“Does marketing control the use of your fax machines, pens and pencils?” 
“Does marketing escort your staff thru life, into networking meetings, coffee shops and bars?” 
“If not, why does marketing manage your social media activity?”

2.01 – Principle # 1

“Networking is finding, developing and nurturing relationships that mutually move people forward thru life,” ~ @NCWiseman


2.02 – Principle # 2

“Networking for Mutual Benefit is a requirement for success” ~ @NCWiseman


2.03 – Principle # 3

“Never do, say or engage in social media in a way you don’t want to be seen, heard or perceived in life.” ~ @NCWiseman

2.04 – Principle # 4

“Everything we do on social media must be TRUHE. If not, people will begin to ignore us” ~ @NCWiseman

2.05 – Principle # 5

“To get the greatest value out of social media, we must execute the 5 Cs.” ~ @NCWiseman

2.06 – Principle # 6

“We must always have trust, respect & compassion for our connections. Otherwise they won’t want to trust, respect or have compassion for us.” ~ @NCWiseman


2.07 – Principle # 7

“If everything we do is all about us, then success is less likely to occur. Make life mutually beneficial and life will be far more rewarding.” ~@NCWiseman 

2.08 – Principle # 8

“Giving is a powerful way to build relationship, whether in real life or through social media.” ~ @NCWiseman

2.09 – Principle # 9

“A connection does not make a relationship. Relationships occur when we help others.” ~ @NCWiseman

2.10 – Principle # 10

“Never contradict who we are or what we stand for when using social media.” ~ @NCWiseman

2.11 – Bonus Principle

Experience & Experiment without giving up, this is the best way to discover how social media can benefit us and our company.” ~ @NCWiseman

Facebook Events don’t make an event

FB_inviteCreating a Facebook Event will not make the event a success

Inviting everyone you know and are connected to on Facebook will not create success

Sharing the Facebook Event on Twitter, LinkedIn & Google+ will not create success

So, you obviously want to know how you can use Social Media to help your event be a success.

There are a few things that you must consider when preparing an event and before you publish it on Social Media.

Item # 1 – Your event must fulfill the TRUHE guidelines.

Transparent – Make sure you write a description that clearly states the real reason and the value to the invitees. I am never interested in an event that does not clearly indicate the benefit for me to attend. Often I see events listed that are all about the host and not about the guest.

Relevance – Only invite people who the event would be specifically relevant to. I get invited to Jewelry parties, Lingerie parties and even parties in other countries. Don’t misunderstand me, I’d love to go to Rio De Janeiro for a party with a room full of beautiful… jewelry, but this is not a relevant invite for me.

Useful – I love a party and even a good networking event. However, I need to make sure that the events I get invited to are either interesting or useful to me. I am not a financial planner, a political activist or a economist. Getting invited to these type of events are really not useful to me.

Honest – Call it a sin, call it disrespectful, inviting me to a social event that turns out to be an MLM, marketing  or propaganda event is just not honest. When I get invited to events like this, I will never again consider one of your events.

Engaging|Entertaining|Exciting – Events must fulfill one of these adjectives, otherwise three things will happen. 1 – your invitees will not have a good time, 2 – they are very likely to never again consider one of your events, 3 – they are likely to tell others that your events are not Engaging, Entertaining or Exciting.

Item # 2 –  A few other things to consider

There are lots of other tasks you must consider when setting up your event.

  1. Prepare earlier – Often the event is published on Social Media less than 1 week before the event. This is not enough time for your invitees to juggle their calendar and/or to decide your event is necessary or interesting. Depending on the size of the event, publish more than a month out.
  2. Good copy – write a great event description that is compelling to your invitees
  3. Good image – Facebook events allow you to attach a compelling image to the event. Do it
  4. Promote your event – No, not by smattering it all over Social Media. Promote with direct conversations to the people you really want to come. Excite them into attending by asking them how you can make the event beneficial and/or exciting for them.

I love Facebook events that fit the TRUHE guidelines, are prepared earlier with good copy, good imagery and that I expect to see before they are published.

Please think this way for your next event.

Digital Etiquette starts with us

Words of wisdom tweeted by @randizuckerberg, Mark Zuckerberg’s younger sister, “Digital etiquette: always ask permission before posting a friend’s photo publicly. It’s not about privacy settings, it’s about human decency.”

I agree fully.

I wonder if she posted this on her FB profile as well.

From a Gawker article –


8 Reasons why it’s ALL your fault, not Facebooks

“Never Say, Do or Engage thru Social Media in a way that you do not want to be heard, seen or perceived in life.” ~ @NCWiseman

Previously I wrote an article about Steve who did not get a job because of what a recruiter found on his facebook wall.

If the recruiter had told Steve that he did not get hired because of the pictures and statements he had on his Facebook timeline, I am sure Steve would have blamed his failure to get hired on Facebook.

However, it’s not Facebook’s fault, it is 100% Steve’s fault.

Here are the 8 reasons why this is true:

  1. Facebook did not take the pictures of Steve drinking and partying night after night
  2. Facebook did not twist Steve’s arm or his friends arm to post the pictures on Facebook
  3. Facebook is not the one responsible for telling Steve’s friends (or Steve) not to tag him in these pictures and posts
  4. Facebook gave Steve tools to manage his privacy. Steve is the one who failed to manage his privacy settings
  5. Facebook had no idea that Steve was looking for a job and that these pictures could be a problem in the job hunt. Steve should have known this
  6. Facebook is not responsible to mentor or coach Steve on how what he does in public may come back to bite him
  7. Facebook is a Social Networking tool and by default the application has the posts set to share Socially, despite what content you decide to post on it.
  8. Facebook is not into censorship, making decisions as to who can see what pictures and posts Steve makes on this application. Steve should be responsible enough to change these sharing permissions when he decided to share images that may hurt his career and business goals.

“Never Say, Do or Engage thru Social Media in a way that you do not want to be heard, seen or perceived in life.” ~ @NCWiseman  – I wrote this statement years ago and live by it everyday. By doing so, I have no Fear or Risk of what I do with Social Media.

Steve, and everyone else needs to think this way.

Please be Responsible.

Forsyth Tech SBC Social Media for Job Seekers

Here are my notes and Links to some of the content I promised to share with you:

How reliable is Wikipedia?

Resources for Social Media use:

I recommend that you look at the following:

LinkedIn –
Facebook –
Twitter –
YouTube –
WordPress –


There are significantly more resources available thru other public domain sources – Google any of the Social Media phrases and the issues you are having – answers exist and are generally easy to find.

The presentation I shared today can be viewed @

The videos I showed in this presentation came from this listing:

SocialNomics 3 Video –
Who are you video –
People are strange –
Social Media Intern –
Social Media ROI –
What is Twitter –

Remember the following:

The 4 Cs® – Contribute, Collaborate, Connect, Cram

TRUHE® – Transparent, Relevant, Useful, Honest, Engage or Exciting

Read the Terms of Service of each Social Media Platform

Read, Understand and set the Settings of each Social Media Platform you use

I will share more information about Groups – What & Why in a future Post to this blog

Please reach out to me if I can help you further with your Social Media needs for your business.


I’m Being Stalked

I used to only periodically hear about Online Stalkers. And for the most part these were fools who harrassed the younger generation. Lately though I am hearing lots of people talking about Online Stalkers harassing business folks, not just our kids. And, often these stalking issues are not just on Facebook. It’s happening on Twitter, LinkedIn, Pinterest and WordPress as well.

There are four things you could do when you encounter an Online Stalker:

  1. Deactivate your Social Media Profiles – DO NOT DO THIS!
  2. Tolerate the stalker and engage with him (or her) online – DO NOT DO THIS!
  3. Hunt him (or her) down like a wild animal and castrate or neuter him (or her) with a dull knife – I wish, but Nope, we can’t do this.
  4. Block, Flag and Report the Stalker as a menace to society, or at least to the Authoriti – YES!
So if Block, Flag & Report is the best solution, the lets show you how to do this


There are lots of different ways to block people on Facebook

  1. Defriend – If you have previously Friended your Stalker and now know it was a mistake, you will need to DeFriend them. See Facebook’s help on Defriending someone for more info. Defriending someone will not prohibit your Stalker from seeing your posts. You will need some of the other options listed below.
  2. Blocking – This is the ultimate in Defriending and making a Stalker go away on Facebook. See Facebook Help on Blocking.
  3. Privacy Settings – Set your activity on Facebook to be viewable by Friends & Friends of Friends, Everyone or Custom. You need to review your Privacy Settings in order to know clearly how to use this functionality in Facebook. It is one of the most important Privacy Features in Facebook.  You can change your Privacy Settings on individual pictures and posts. Take a look at your Facebook Privacy Settings and understand this functionality clearly.
  4. You can always Report a Violation which includes Bullying, Imposters, and Hate Crimes.  See Facebook’s Report a Violation Page for help with this.
  5. Facebook takes Online Safety serious. Safety for Children, Students, Community, etc. Take a look at Facebook’s Safety Center for more information about Online Safety issues and solutions. 


Twitter has a few features built in to stop Stalkers

  1. Blocking – Blocking is a simple way to make someone go away. You Block someone after you click on their Twitter Handle. Currently it’s the down arrow on head icon to the right of Follow or Following icon.
  2. Report – Reporting Spammers is our responsibility. If we don’t do it, it won’t get done. The Reporting option is in the same place as Blocking (above).
  3. Reporting Abuse or Policy Violations – It’s important to know what is Abuse & what are Policy Violations. Read the Reporting Abuse or Policy Violations page so that you are informed of what you and other can do in Twitter. This is good stuff to know.
  4. More Serious infractions of privacy violation or Stalkers can be reported to Twitter thru their Protecting your Private information Pages. Read these pages for more help.


LinkedIn has even less functionality to block a Stalker of your LinkedIn Profile. Here are the options available in LinkedIn

  1. Control who can see your Public Profile – This restricts your profile from others who may want and need to see your profile for beneficial reasons. However, if your Stalker is using this information to harrass you, make different sections of you profile hidden from people you are not connected to. See Public Profile Settings for more information.
  2. Control who can send you LinkedIn Invites. This restricts your ability to be accessible, but it may be needed in order for a Stalker to go away. You can always restrict your accessibility and then open it up later on.  See – Controlling LinkedIn Invites for more information. Set this LinkedIn feature – HERE (under Email Tab)
  3. Removing Comments on your Posts  – If someone posts an inappropriate comment on your Post, the only option you have available to you is to Delete the comment. Unfortunately for those being stalked, there is no Report or Block function on Individual Status posts on your Profile.
  4. Group Comments – You can flag a comment to your post (and any other post in groups you belong in), as Flag Inappropriate. This removes the comment into a Flag Queue for the Group moderators to review. See Flagging Inappropriate Comments for more information
  5. Group Moderator Assistance  – If your Stalker joined a group you are a member of, and they are not providing any value to the group, you can contact the Group Moderator directly and have the Stalker possibly removed from the group.


Pinterest does not have a feature to block stalkers, yet. They know they need one, but as of August 12,2012 – they have not implemented a solution.  They do however have the following:

  1. Dealing with Inappropriate Comments – If someone comments on one of your Pins, the only option you have is to “X” or delete the comment. Hopefully Pinterest will add the ability to Flag as Inappropriate and/or Block commenters in future releases.
  2. Dealing with Spam in Pinterest and Reporting a Pin – More and more inappropriate marketers are using Pinterest for their SPAM. Pinterest wants you to “Report Pin” if you see this. See Report an Inappropriate Pin.

Lets hope that Pinterest creates more functions for dealing with Spammers & Stalkers in the future.


WordPress sites are by their nature, fully accessible to the world. Yes, you can choose to have individual posts as Private or Password protected, but for the most part Posts are accessible to everyone.

What WordPress does allow you to do is to manage the comments the public puts on your Posts.

Here are some WordPress settings (as of 8/12/2012) that are worth exploring if you have a Stalker

  1. Enable/disable Comments on Posts or Pages
  2. Require commenters to enter Name & email address
  3. Require commenters to be registered WordPress users
  4. Close comments on older posts
  5. Moderate Comments
  6. New commenters must be moderated
  7. Comments with Links can be held for moderation
  8. Moderate comments with specific words, URLS, IP address, Email address
  9. Blacklist comments with specific words, URLS, IP address, Email address (goes to spam)

WordPress does a good job of helping handle the Stalkers.

In Summary – Online Stalkers are a pain in the butt. Please do not deactivate your Social Media Account if you get Stalked. Use the Privacy and Security features available to you to handle this issue.

And if all else fails, consider calling for help from experts who can either solve your problem with internet tools or a big piece of wood. My number is 336-283-6121


24 Social Media Policies for you to read

I shared “What is the Wrong Stuff” regarding Social Media Content and then some tips on how to Self-Moderate in Social Media.

Now I want to share Privacy & Terms of Use Statements of our Favorite Social Media systems.

They all have Privacy Statements, Terms of Use Statements and Guidelines for Reporting Inappropriate content, some are easier to find than others.

For those who have not already read these statements, which I suggest you need to do, here are the links to my Favorite Social Media platforms:

FYI – The Google+ statements were the most difficult for me to find, but I found them.

Social Media Platform Privacy Statements

Social Media Platform Terms of Use Statements

Social Media Platform Report Inappropriate use/Content