My Personal Facebook Timeline is just that – Personal
I respect your request to see my Personal Facebook Timeline as my personal friends do. I know you want to see my Facebook timeline so that you can get a better perspective of who I am as a person. However, the only way I can let you see my personal Facebook timeline is after we become real friends.
Here are a few ideas you can consider if you want to become my Friend so that you can get a better perspective of who I am.
Join me at a restaurant and buy my dinner as we talk about all kinds of stuff beyond these interview questions.
Come with me as I volunteer at a community event where what we do is not about us, but the people friends volunteer to help.
Come to my house and help me spread mulch, plant flowers and rake leaves because these tasks are on my honey-do list and a friend would help me.
Meet me at Starbucks at 7am so we can talk about politics and religion, just as friends would.
Invite me to a football game, because friends do this.
Give me your cell phone number so I can text you when I have a joke for my friend.
Invite me to your home to meet your wife and kids, as any good friend would do.
Let me borrow your car and give $20 for gas, my friends would do this for me.
I offer these ideas in an honest effort to become your friend which is the only way I can allow you to have friend access to my personal Facebook Timeline.
So, at this point you have two choices:
We can go a burger and watch a game, or you can drop the request to see my Personal Facebook Timeline.
Creating a Facebook Event will not make the event a success
Inviting everyone you know and are connected to on Facebook will not create success
Sharing the Facebook Event on Twitter, LinkedIn & Google+ will not create success
So, you obviously want to know how you can use Social Media to help your event be a success.
There are a few things that you must consider when preparing an event and before you publish it on Social Media.
Item # 1– Your event must fulfill the TRUHE guidelines.
Transparent – Make sure you write a description that clearly states the real reason and the value to the invitees. I am never interested in an event that does not clearly indicate the benefit for me to attend. Often I see events listed that are all about the host and not about the guest.
Relevance – Only invite people who the event would be specifically relevant to. I get invited to Jewelry parties, Lingerie parties and even parties in other countries. Don’t misunderstand me, I’d love to go to Rio De Janeiro for a party with a room full of beautiful… jewelry, but this is not a relevant invite for me.
Useful – I love a party and even a good networking event. However, I need to make sure that the events I get invited to are either interesting or useful to me. I am not a financial planner, a political activist or a economist. Getting invited to these type of events are really not useful to me.
Honest – Call it a sin, call it disrespectful, inviting me to a social event that turns out to be an MLM, marketing or propaganda event is just not honest. When I get invited to events like this, I will never again consider one of your events.
Engaging|Entertaining|Exciting – Events must fulfill one of these adjectives, otherwise three things will happen. 1 – your invitees will not have a good time, 2 – they are very likely to never again consider one of your events, 3 – they are likely to tell others that your events are not Engaging, Entertaining or Exciting.
Item # 2 – A few other things to consider
There are lots of other tasks you must consider when setting up your event.
Prepare earlier – Often the event is published on Social Media less than 1 week before the event. This is not enough time for your invitees to juggle their calendar and/or to decide your event is necessary or interesting. Depending on the size of the event, publish more than a month out.
Good copy – write a great event description that is compelling to your invitees
Good image – Facebook events allow you to attach a compelling image to the event. Do it
Promote your event – No, not by smattering it all over Social Media. Promote with direct conversations to the people you really want to come. Excite them into attending by asking them how you can make the event beneficial and/or exciting for them.
I love Facebook events that fit the TRUHE guidelines, are prepared earlier with good copy, good imagery and that I expect to see before they are published.
The definition of Antisocial is: The shunning of the society of others; not being sociable. Being hostile to or disruptive of the established social order. Being marked by or engaging in behavior that violates accepted mores. Lastly, being antagonistic toward, disrespectful of others and sometimes just plain rude.
The definition of Social Media is: Media for social interaction, using highly accessible and scalable publishing techniques. Social media uses web-based technologies to turn communication into interactive dialogues. Social media allows the creation and exchange of user-generated content. A common thread running through all definitions of social media is a blending of technology and social interaction for the co-creation of value.
OK, enough of the english study.
Let me bring this together by defining the two variations of Antisocial Social Media:
Shunning the society of others:
Having a LinkedIn profile and not interacting with anyone either directly or indirectly thru groups
Having a Facebook profile and not sharing stories, pictures or any interesting information
Having a Blog and never sharing any stories or engaging ideas
Having a Twitter profile and never tweeting
Setting up a Google+ profile and leaving it naked and idle
Being hostile and antagonistic:
Using your Facebook profile only to post political, religious comments and stories
Using your LinkedIn profile only to promote your business and/or products
Writing a Blog filled with white papers and case studies of your business or products
Tweeting self promoting tweets and ignoring everyone else’s ideas and stories
Do any of these bullet points, or similar ones represent you? If so, you are AntiSocial at Social Media and need an immediate Social Media Intervention. If you can’t find friends to do this, I have an alternative for you to use.
Here are three steps you need to begin executing immediately in order to correct this serious failure:
Start listening to what other people are saying thru Social Media and begin engaging in conversations with them
Completely stop talking about yourself, your business and your products thru Social Media
Begin sharing TRUHE (Transparent, Relevant, Useful, Honest & Engaging) content thru Social Media
These three steps can cure your AntiSocial Social Media behavior.
“Never Say, Do or Engage thru Social Media in a way that you do not want to be heard, seen or perceived in life.” ~ @NCWiseman
Previously I wrote an article about Steve who did not get a job because of what a recruiter found on his facebook wall.
If the recruiter had told Steve that he did not get hired because of the pictures and statements he had on his Facebook timeline, I am sure Steve would have blamed his failure to get hired on Facebook.
However, it’s not Facebook’s fault, it is 100% Steve’s fault.
Here are the 8 reasons why this is true:
Facebook did not take the pictures of Steve drinking and partying night after night
Facebook did not twist Steve’s arm or his friends arm to post the pictures on Facebook
Facebook is not the one responsible for telling Steve’s friends (or Steve) not to tag him in these pictures and posts
Facebook gave Steve tools to manage his privacy. Steve is the one who failed to manage his privacy settings
Facebook had no idea that Steve was looking for a job and that these pictures could be a problem in the job hunt. Steve should have known this
Facebook is not responsible to mentor or coach Steve on how what he does in public may come back to bite him
Facebook is a Social Networking tool and by default the application has the posts set to share Socially, despite what content you decide to post on it.
Facebook is not into censorship, making decisions as to who can see what pictures and posts Steve makes on this application. Steve should be responsible enough to change these sharing permissions when he decided to share images that may hurt his career and business goals.
“Never Say, Do or Engage thru Social Media in a way that you do not want to be heard, seen or perceived in life.” ~ @NCWiseman – I wrote this statement years ago and live by it everyday. By doing so, I have no Fear or Risk of what I do with Social Media.
This is a true story of Social Media activity resulting in failure.
A recruiter, we’ll call him Gary, told me this story.
One of Gary’s clients asked him to find candidates for a pretty good job – Manager of Desktop Services leading a staff of 3 people supporting 200 computer users. The pay rate, benefits and profit sharing plan is better than average for the region and industry.
Gary did a great job searching for candidates. He found 3 that his client interviewed and narrowed the search down to two.
Gary’s client asked him to do some more interviewing and research and make a recommendation of which of the two would be the best hire.
Gary interviewed the two candidates two more times and arranged for another high level recruiter to interview them as well.
One of the candidate, let’s call him Steve, rose to the top of the everyone’s list.
He answered all the questions with solid responses, made great suggestions for improving customer service and desktop functionality. Bill, the other candidate did a good job in the interviewing, but not quite as good as Steve.
Steve was slightly more polite, professional and a little easier going than Bill. Everyone agreed that Steve would be the best hire.
Despite all of this, Gary had a nagging feeling that something was not quite as it seemed.
Gary had looked at Steve’s LinkedIn profile already, but he went back to look at it again. His profile was fairly standard. Nothing different than what his resume shows.
Gary decided that he should Google Steve’s name. When he did, the top search results were numerous Facebook pictures of Steve.
Gary opened the first Facebook picture. It was in an album that contained dozens of pictures of guys drinking and playing pool. Gary looked at another album, similar pictures.
Many college kids have photos of themselves playing, drinking, dancing and doing what many college kids do. However Steve has been out of college for 3 years and all of these pictures were recent.
Gary pondered what he had learned. Steve was a good candidate, yet Gary worried about recommending him to his client because of these images. What if the client searched for Steve online and found these pictures? Would the client be disturbed about these images? Would he be upset that Gary recommended what could be considered a “party animal”?
Gary searched online for Bill and found a LinkedIn profile that supported his resume. He found a Facebook profile but no public images or activity at all.
Gary had made up his mind. He told his client to hire Bill.
Gary asked his HR manager if he should tell Steve why he did not get hired. The HR Manager said to tell Steve that he was not the best candidate and nothing more.
In summary, the best candidate is chosen based on skills, expertise, experience, critical thinking ability and lots of other criteria, including perception of the person fitting into the working environment. This evaluation is done thru interviews, reference checking and like it or not, Social Media research.
Therefore, make sure your Social Media information supports your business & career goals.
I used to only periodically hear about Online Stalkers. And for the most part these were fools who harrassed the younger generation. Lately though I am hearing lots of people talking about Online Stalkers harassing business folks, not just our kids. And, often these stalking issues are not just on Facebook. It’s happening on Twitter, LinkedIn, Pinterest and WordPress as well.
There are four things you could do when you encounter an Online Stalker:
Deactivate your Social Media Profiles – DO NOT DO THIS!
Tolerate the stalker and engage with him (or her) online – DO NOT DO THIS!
Hunt him (or her) down like a wild animal and castrate or neuter him (or her) with a dull knife – I wish, but Nope, we can’t do this.
Block, Flag and Report the Stalker as a menace to society, or at least to the Authoriti – YES!
So if Block, Flag & Report is the best solution, the lets show you how to do this
There are lots of different ways to block people on Facebook
Defriend – If you have previously Friended your Stalker and now know it was a mistake, you will need to DeFriend them. See Facebook’s help on Defriending someone for more info. Defriending someone will not prohibit your Stalker from seeing your posts. You will need some of the other options listed below.
Blocking – This is the ultimate in Defriending and making a Stalker go away on Facebook. See Facebook Help on Blocking.
Privacy Settings – Set your activity on Facebook to be viewable by Friends & Friends of Friends, Everyone or Custom. You need to review your PrivacySettings in order to know clearly how to use this functionality in Facebook. It is one of the most important Privacy Features in Facebook. You can change your Privacy Settings on individual pictures and posts. Take a look at your Facebook Privacy Settings and understand this functionality clearly.
You can always Report a Violation which includes Bullying, Imposters, and Hate Crimes. See Facebook’s Report a Violation Page for help with this.
Facebook takes Online Safety serious. Safety for Children, Students, Community, etc. Take a look at Facebook’s Safety Center for more information about Online Safety issues and solutions.
Twitter has a few features built in to stop Stalkers
Blocking – Blocking is a simple way to make someone go away. You Block someone after you click on their Twitter Handle. Currently it’s the down arrow on head icon to the right of Follow or Following icon.
Report – Reporting Spammers is our responsibility. If we don’t do it, it won’t get done. The Reporting option is in the same place as Blocking (above).
Reporting Abuse or Policy Violations – It’s important to know what is Abuse & what are Policy Violations. Read the Reporting Abuse or Policy Violations page so that you are informed of what you and other can do in Twitter. This is good stuff to know.
LinkedIn has even less functionality to block a Stalker of your LinkedIn Profile. Here are the options available in LinkedIn
Control who can see your Public Profile – This restricts your profile from others who may want and need to see your profile for beneficial reasons. However, if your Stalker is using this information to harrass you, make different sections of you profile hidden from people you are not connected to. See Public Profile Settings for more information.
Control who can send you LinkedIn Invites. This restricts your ability to be accessible, but it may be needed in order for a Stalker to go away. You can always restrict your accessibility and then open it up later on. See – Controlling LinkedIn Invites for more information. Set this LinkedIn feature – HERE (under Email Tab)
Removing Comments on your Posts – If someone posts an inappropriate comment on your Post, the only option you have available to you is to Delete the comment. Unfortunately for those being stalked, there is no Report or Block function on Individual Status posts on your Profile.
Group Comments – You can flag a comment to your post (and any other post in groups you belong in), as Flag Inappropriate. This removes the comment into a Flag Queue for the Group moderators to review. See Flagging Inappropriate Comments for more information
Group Moderator Assistance – If your Stalker joined a group you are a member of, and they are not providing any value to the group, you can contact the Group Moderator directly and have the Stalker possibly removed from the group.
Pinterest does not have a feature to block stalkers, yet. They know they need one, but as of August 12,2012 – they have not implemented a solution. They do however have the following:
Dealing with Inappropriate Comments – If someone comments on one of your Pins, the only option you have is to “X” or delete the comment. Hopefully Pinterest will add the ability to Flag as Inappropriate and/or Block commenters in future releases.
Dealing with Spam in Pinterest and Reporting a Pin – More and more inappropriate marketers are using Pinterest for their SPAM. Pinterest wants you to “Report Pin” if you see this. See Report an Inappropriate Pin.
Lets hope that Pinterest creates more functions for dealing with Spammers & Stalkers in the future.
WordPress sites are by their nature, fully accessible to the world. Yes, you can choose to have individual posts as Private or Password protected, but for the most part Posts are accessible to everyone.
What WordPress does allow you to do is to manage the comments the public puts on your Posts.
Here are some WordPress settings (as of 8/12/2012) that are worth exploring if you have a Stalker
Enable/disable Comments on Posts or Pages
Require commenters to enter Name & email address
Require commenters to be registered WordPress users
Close comments on older posts
New commenters must be moderated
Comments with Links can be held for moderation
Moderate comments with specific words, URLS, IP address, Email address
Blacklist comments with specific words, URLS, IP address, Email address (goes to spam)
WordPress does a good job of helping handle the Stalkers.
In Summary – Online Stalkers are a pain in the butt. Please do not deactivate your Social Media Account if you get Stalked. Use the Privacy and Security features available to you to handle this issue.
And if all else fails, consider calling for help from experts who can either solve your problem with internet tools or a big piece of wood. My number is 336-283-6121
Social Media systems are Self-Monitored. There is a higher authority responsible for the overall Social Media system, brand protection and member security, but when it comes to content and interaction, we are the Sheriff.
This means that it is our job to Flag, Block and Report users who post the wrong stuff.
Now that you know what the Wrong Stuff is, let’s go to the Second step – how to Self-Moderate
I’m going to show you how to Self-moderate in LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter.
From the front page of LinkedIn – All you can do is Hide a connection and all of their stuff.
From a LinkedIn Group Page you have a few other Self-moderation options to Report Wrong Stuff:
In Facebook we have two similar Self-moderation options:
In Facebook you can Hide a single Post, Report it as SPAM (or the Wrong Stuff) or Hide all posts from the friend or Page.
In Twitter you have a good choices of Self-moderation Options as well:
So – you know how to do it now.
If you see status updates, posts, comments, discussions, polls or tweets that clearly fall into the Wrong Stuff Bucket – It is your responsibility to Self-Moderate. If you don’t (or we don’t) then we’ll end up with Social Media Streams full of Crap.
In Social Media systems we share content (Stuff) with others. We strive to educate and engage others with the intent of creating relationships that eventually turn into opportunities for business, careers, sales, and yes – the most important opportunity, to build mutually beneficial relationships.
This Stuff best be the right stuff or there will be no benefit to anyone including ourselves, our companies, fans, friends, followers, connections and subscribers.
If the stuff is the Wrong Stuff, then we might as well just “Go Back to Bed” ie – STOP.
OK – so the question is, “What is the wrong stuff?”
The answer to this question varies dramatically, but for me the core answer is always the same. I use a few bullet points to answer this question:
If you won’t stand on a street corner and say, do it or show it to a complete stranger, it’s wrong stuff.
If it’s something that is not relevant to the thread, page, group, followers, fans, friends or connections, then it’s wrong stuff.
If it’s all about you, all the time, and never about someone else, then it’s wrong stuff.
If it includes nudity, vulgarity, disgusting images, videos or words, then it’s wrong stuff (unless you’re on a Social Media system that I don’t visit)
If you don’t have the authority or permission to share it (plagiarized), then it’s wrong stuff.
If you think, even for the briefest of moments that someone will be insulted or hurt by what you say, do, show or share, it’s wrong stuff.
There used to be a day when I would say, “use your common sense”, but unfortunately this does not seem to work any more. I hope one day we can begin to use this phrase again.
When we talk about the “right stuff”, often, we use these adjectives: relevant, honest, transparent, interesting, useful, helpful, entertaining and exciting, just to say a few. If your Post, Status, Tweet, SignIn, Video, Blog, Pin, Comment, Discussion, Answer, Question, Poll, etc is not this, then it’s wrong stuff.
Here are a few examples that may help you better understand what is considered “Wrong Stuff“
LinkedIn Wall (Via your Profile Status) – Post an interesting story about anything interesting or relevant and include a URL to a list server that requires you to”signup” before being able to read the supposed content
LinkedIn Groups or Company Pages – Post a Discussion about something that is either completely irrelevant to the group or self promoting.
Facebook Groups & Pages are setup for specific conversations, focused on specific issues, ideas, topics and/or products. Remember this and don’t go off ranting and raving about the political system on a Community Yard Sale Group or local Garden Center Page.
I’m not going to tell you what you can do, say, show or share on your own Facebook Wall, Group and/or Page. It’s your’s, not mine. What I am going to tell you is “if it’s not relevant, honest, transparent, interesting, useful, helpful, entertaining and exciting”, then your Friends, Fans and/or Subscribers will unfriend you, block you, hide you and/or ignore you. And, they’ll do this in real life as well as online.
I could go on and on all day long and give you examples on Twitter, FourSquare, Pinterest, Youtube an Google+, but I hope this makes sense to you.
So let me repeat what the Right Stuff is: The Right Stuff is stuff that is relevant, honest, transparent, interesting, useful, helpful, entertaining and exciting.